That sentence has been bugging me for ages since it essentially reeks of hipocrisy - in my eyes, at least. You can respect the person you're disagreeing with, but you can't respect an opinion you disagree with. Essentially, it's against human nature as such, from my point of view. You can acknowledge it, you can accept that the other person is perfectly entitled to an opinion of his own rather than accepting yours or you can argue til both of you turn blue to change nothing, but respect as such is an earned value generated through positive experiences - or experience. You can't respect a momentary opionion that comes up through a conversation. So today, I opened a dictionary and what do I find? Definition for the word "Respect" that suddently explains the whole thing with it. I'm overjoyed.
1: a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation: respect to an earlier plan
2: an act of giving particular attention: consideration
3a:high or special regard: esteem; b: the quality or state of being esteemed c: plural expressions of respect or deference:
Respect has several meanings - and when you say, "I disagree with you, but I consider your opionion", it suddenly makes a lot more sense than saying "I disagree with you, but hold your opinion in esteem regardless". Because this is what we do. When we disagree, we regardlessly (hopefully) think on the opposing opinion's factors - sometimes ending up having it in esteem indeed - but often, merely considering it as a valid option alternative to our own. Which, in a way, I suppose, is respecting the conversation counterpart - but not respecting the opinion in the 3a, b or c fashion.
Yay, semantics.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Quoting people I don't know
"A cultured person cannot be tolerant, as tolerance is a means of destroying culture through making it equal with lack of it."
That's an interesting quote. It refers to modern concept of tolerance - the sort where everyone's opinion is equal and equally valuable. I really wonder who it belongs to originally - so if any of you know the source, I'd like to know it. This might be paraphrased, since I translated it from a Russian version.
It sounds rather blunt and, well, intolerant, the quote, rather elitist as well - and excusing elitist behaviour as well, wouldn't be surprised if it was used in propaganda of certain movements... But if one takes a look at it properly, it's quite true - not just with culture, though, though it may depend on what one defines as culture. In general, though, is it not our tolerance that permits existance of all things distasteful merely because speaking out against it is essentially no longer permitted by our own establishment? Do we not destroy ourselves from within by permitting - and approving - of processes best halted, of people best stopped and of opinions best buried deep beneath the sands of time rather than pretend a forced smile and look the other way?
And why, then, do we do so? Is it because of politeness? But politeness isn't enforced - it's presumed, and the means of achieving politeness are quite codified, but they are simply rules we want to observe in order not to upset others around us - or achieve results desireable to us through observing societal norms and manipulating them to our will. So no, it's not politeness.
It's fear. Fear to be cast aside for breaking the behavioural norms, fear of retribution, fear of one day having someone we didn't please of throwing a rock at us. In some less fortunate countries, fear of being prosecuted by law. How screwed up is our society, then, if we have to be tolerant and polite out of fear rather than by choice?
That is not to say I approve of the quote exactly. People should be tolerant, but only according to their own will - and there are things that cannot be tolerated regardlessly. Just that people have to use their head, as time-consuming as it might sound.
Oh, and to those that equalise intolerance with violent intolerance - wrong. A person that can't tolerate a fact acts to correct it, yes - but not violently. Martin Luther King could not tolerate the way that a great deal of people in the US were treated - but did he go shooting whites for it? Nope. Did he punch them? No! What did he do? He came up with civil disobedience. When film industry started coming up with things like pornography and films of extreme violence, did their makers get burnt at the stake? No. People came up with age categories for films. These are examples of intolerance that did something good for society - intolerance of an aspect of surroundings - in fact, intolerance is one of the motivating forces behind progress.
Then there's a more regular display of intolerance - me, for example, I have an intense hatred of people chewing noisily (call it childhood trauma if you will, I really can't stand it) - and if I'm eating with someone I know well enough to comment, I will. If I am on the bus next to someone chewing like that, I'll make my music deafeningly loud or change seats - because I can't stand it, and being polite in this case would cause me near-physical discomfort. However, in some rare situations, I regardlessly permit people to eat that way without making any remarks or trying to drown it out - but I do it by my own choice rather than fear of rejection. And I won't tolerate a whole lot of other things as well, but it hardly means I'll go and beat someone up over it, or end their existance to stop troubling me. That is not just intolerance. That is intense stupidity.
That's an interesting quote. It refers to modern concept of tolerance - the sort where everyone's opinion is equal and equally valuable. I really wonder who it belongs to originally - so if any of you know the source, I'd like to know it. This might be paraphrased, since I translated it from a Russian version.
It sounds rather blunt and, well, intolerant, the quote, rather elitist as well - and excusing elitist behaviour as well, wouldn't be surprised if it was used in propaganda of certain movements... But if one takes a look at it properly, it's quite true - not just with culture, though, though it may depend on what one defines as culture. In general, though, is it not our tolerance that permits existance of all things distasteful merely because speaking out against it is essentially no longer permitted by our own establishment? Do we not destroy ourselves from within by permitting - and approving - of processes best halted, of people best stopped and of opinions best buried deep beneath the sands of time rather than pretend a forced smile and look the other way?
And why, then, do we do so? Is it because of politeness? But politeness isn't enforced - it's presumed, and the means of achieving politeness are quite codified, but they are simply rules we want to observe in order not to upset others around us - or achieve results desireable to us through observing societal norms and manipulating them to our will. So no, it's not politeness.
It's fear. Fear to be cast aside for breaking the behavioural norms, fear of retribution, fear of one day having someone we didn't please of throwing a rock at us. In some less fortunate countries, fear of being prosecuted by law. How screwed up is our society, then, if we have to be tolerant and polite out of fear rather than by choice?
That is not to say I approve of the quote exactly. People should be tolerant, but only according to their own will - and there are things that cannot be tolerated regardlessly. Just that people have to use their head, as time-consuming as it might sound.
Oh, and to those that equalise intolerance with violent intolerance - wrong. A person that can't tolerate a fact acts to correct it, yes - but not violently. Martin Luther King could not tolerate the way that a great deal of people in the US were treated - but did he go shooting whites for it? Nope. Did he punch them? No! What did he do? He came up with civil disobedience. When film industry started coming up with things like pornography and films of extreme violence, did their makers get burnt at the stake? No. People came up with age categories for films. These are examples of intolerance that did something good for society - intolerance of an aspect of surroundings - in fact, intolerance is one of the motivating forces behind progress.
Then there's a more regular display of intolerance - me, for example, I have an intense hatred of people chewing noisily (call it childhood trauma if you will, I really can't stand it) - and if I'm eating with someone I know well enough to comment, I will. If I am on the bus next to someone chewing like that, I'll make my music deafeningly loud or change seats - because I can't stand it, and being polite in this case would cause me near-physical discomfort. However, in some rare situations, I regardlessly permit people to eat that way without making any remarks or trying to drown it out - but I do it by my own choice rather than fear of rejection. And I won't tolerate a whole lot of other things as well, but it hardly means I'll go and beat someone up over it, or end their existance to stop troubling me. That is not just intolerance. That is intense stupidity.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tidbits
Well, I've been re-reading a collection of French sci-fi the last few days, and I must say I'm bloody impressed with the novel and the short stories. Those guys really knew how to write good science fiction. No focus on laser pew-pews, rather, good, philosophical sort of writings in a fictional framework. Highly focused on human nature and its destructive features. Though I must say it took a few years to see the book in full colours rather than just the obvious things you manage picking up when you're younger. Whee! Maturity! *does the leprechaun dance*
Found a lot of MythBusters episodes (from the Discovery channel) on YouTube, great stuff there - but to top the greatness of that show, I also stumbled across an interesting debate in the video's comments section - a great literacy debate!
Also found a great episode about the "bull in a china shop" saying. Damn, I want to work in a group like that!
And of course, I couldn't leave out this little gem:
Found a lot of MythBusters episodes (from the Discovery channel) on YouTube, great stuff there - but to top the greatness of that show, I also stumbled across an interesting debate in the video's comments section - a great literacy debate!
Also found a great episode about the "bull in a china shop" saying. Damn, I want to work in a group like that!
And of course, I couldn't leave out this little gem:
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Mankind loses more points.
I spent a bit of the afternoon browsing the intrawebs today, catching up on some less frequented forums and such (well, being both bored and lazy, basically) and what do I stumble upon? No other thing but a newspost that qualifies as a severe kick to the various sensitive spots of the collective hive of minds called "mankind". Seriously, when I read things like that, I wish I would differentiate from the lot of them by more than just the token genetic variation and mental conditioning.
Alright, really, now. We have one doped-up moron doing that stuff and filming himself on a telephone - or having a friend do that. I won't talk of my opinion on the cretin, that's pretty self-explanatory, I should hope, but... What about the people that witnessed all this? Why has nobody stopped the idiot? It's not like he just spat and ran off. Who are all these people and do I even want to share the same air with them? I feel doubtful. Open their eyes? How? They don't want to see, hear or even smell the truth anymore, not most of mankind anyway. Just hide in your little holes with all the little comfy stuff ya got and be happy none of it concerns you. Oh yeah. Risk your neck for a dying woman while a freak does what he does? Who's stupid enough for that?
Oh, and some guys at the forum went blaming "godless people" about this. Beg pardon, but in the Soviet Union, this sort of thing would be unthinkable. Roots to this are quite elsewhere.
And while at that... Another thing, came to my attention thanks to Mach. Street school kid violence.
Wasn't really going to bring that up, since it was something I grew up with. You either fight, or you run, or you're dropped and kicked - normal rules of living in Turkmenistan. But... We actually had people with cojones that came and broke this up. Adults, of course. But still. And here? Who stops them? Nobody, that's who. Political correctness and fear for our own hides. Disgusting. And where are those kids' parents? Have they ever heard that kids need to be brought up rather than showered with presents and let do anything they like as an instant substitute for parental attention, love and other things that were once considered, erm, important?
Source.Man urinates on dying woman, declaring it 'YouTube material'
From the "Annals of Modern Depravity" comes this sordid story:
Shouting, "This is YouTube material!" a 27-year-old British man urinated on a dying woman who had collapsed on the street, the BBC and local Hartepool Mail and Northern Echo tell us. He also doused her with a bucket of water and covered her with shaving cream.
The woman, 50-year-old Christine Lakinski, died at the scene of pancreatic failure.
In a sad sign of the times, it was all recorded on a mobile phone.
In court, Anthony Anderson said he had smoked a joint and been drinking with two friends when they spotted Lakinski. He faces jail after pleading guilty to "outraging public decency." Sentencing is set for Oct. 22.
"We will await the outcome and just hope he gets what he deserves," Lakinski's brother said after today's court hearing.
Alright, really, now. We have one doped-up moron doing that stuff and filming himself on a telephone - or having a friend do that. I won't talk of my opinion on the cretin, that's pretty self-explanatory, I should hope, but... What about the people that witnessed all this? Why has nobody stopped the idiot? It's not like he just spat and ran off. Who are all these people and do I even want to share the same air with them? I feel doubtful. Open their eyes? How? They don't want to see, hear or even smell the truth anymore, not most of mankind anyway. Just hide in your little holes with all the little comfy stuff ya got and be happy none of it concerns you. Oh yeah. Risk your neck for a dying woman while a freak does what he does? Who's stupid enough for that?
Oh, and some guys at the forum went blaming "godless people" about this. Beg pardon, but in the Soviet Union, this sort of thing would be unthinkable. Roots to this are quite elsewhere.
And while at that... Another thing, came to my attention thanks to Mach. Street school kid violence.
Wasn't really going to bring that up, since it was something I grew up with. You either fight, or you run, or you're dropped and kicked - normal rules of living in Turkmenistan. But... We actually had people with cojones that came and broke this up. Adults, of course. But still. And here? Who stops them? Nobody, that's who. Political correctness and fear for our own hides. Disgusting. And where are those kids' parents? Have they ever heard that kids need to be brought up rather than showered with presents and let do anything they like as an instant substitute for parental attention, love and other things that were once considered, erm, important?
Factory Stories, interlude.
It wasn't really in his plans, getting stuck at a factory like this. Coming here day after day, week after week, weeks slowly piling up into months and years. Once, he wanted to be something different. Someone that could change the world - influence it for the better, or at least leave a mark in the passing. To have a fancy job with a fancy car and take half a year's worth of vacations in a warmer hemisphere. But then, a friend told him that there was a place with decent pay that could employ without looking for fifty years of prior experience, and he fell to the trap. And damn, the trap was good.
There was no need to worry, no need to think too hard, the people around were nice and the pay was decent. He was safe there. Secure. There was no need to take any risks for years. Even his friendships were all safe. Nobody to know him too well, nobody to get too close, just casual acquaintances to chat with over a mug of beer on the day off. Good guys, too, of course. All was fine. But lately, he began feeling that something was amiss.
He wasn't sure what it was, or where. It could've been that the factory had turned to some sort of a lunatic asylum, with people talking about seeing squirrels, fighting over women and trying to kill themselves in the restroom over something or another. It could be that. Or it could've been something else - his dreams of glorious life ahead of him pulling him again, telling to stop with the nonsense and make a leap. And see where it all goes from there.
He sighed and lifted his head, casting a tired glance around him. The conveyor belt stretched from right to left, carrying all manner of electronic things he never cared to learn the names of. Dozens of blank concentrated faces surrounding the conveyor, putting the devices together and sending them onwards. He chuckled to himself. Working here for so long and never learning any names. Temporary thing. Damn.
He glanced over his shoulder, looking for the clock on the wall. Almost the end of the shift. He stretched out lazily, relaxing in his chair and shrugging to the questioning gaze of the neighbour lady, whatever her name was. Odd. He had good memory once.
Maybe it was time to go? To leave the factory behind? To try out everything else that the world had to offer, even though he could well fail - there was always this place to come back to in such a case... Yeah, why not? He got up and headed to the foreman's office - or rather, cubicle, looking around himself as if seeing an old, cozy home for the last time. Well, in a way, it was his cozy home. The grayness. The bright lights. The humming, the whirring and the clanking. The dry air with a faint smell of metal and plastic. The faint voices of the workers, occasional shrieks and laughter - usually from those temporary kids - and the work that never got too boring.
"I won't be coming tomorrow", he said to the foreman casually. The man nodded, turning his head away from a screen. "Taking an extra off?"
The man hesitated before responding to his superior, his eyes wandering the ceiling. "No. I'm quitting tomorrow. Sudden decision, but the contract allowed those. Sorry, boss"
The foreman nodded again. "Remember to return all the tools and keys to me before you leave today, then"
The man nodded and walked out of the room. It was done. He grinned. No big words of farewell, no claims of being missed. And he actually hesitated with this decision.
There was no need to worry, no need to think too hard, the people around were nice and the pay was decent. He was safe there. Secure. There was no need to take any risks for years. Even his friendships were all safe. Nobody to know him too well, nobody to get too close, just casual acquaintances to chat with over a mug of beer on the day off. Good guys, too, of course. All was fine. But lately, he began feeling that something was amiss.
He wasn't sure what it was, or where. It could've been that the factory had turned to some sort of a lunatic asylum, with people talking about seeing squirrels, fighting over women and trying to kill themselves in the restroom over something or another. It could be that. Or it could've been something else - his dreams of glorious life ahead of him pulling him again, telling to stop with the nonsense and make a leap. And see where it all goes from there.
He sighed and lifted his head, casting a tired glance around him. The conveyor belt stretched from right to left, carrying all manner of electronic things he never cared to learn the names of. Dozens of blank concentrated faces surrounding the conveyor, putting the devices together and sending them onwards. He chuckled to himself. Working here for so long and never learning any names. Temporary thing. Damn.
He glanced over his shoulder, looking for the clock on the wall. Almost the end of the shift. He stretched out lazily, relaxing in his chair and shrugging to the questioning gaze of the neighbour lady, whatever her name was. Odd. He had good memory once.
Maybe it was time to go? To leave the factory behind? To try out everything else that the world had to offer, even though he could well fail - there was always this place to come back to in such a case... Yeah, why not? He got up and headed to the foreman's office - or rather, cubicle, looking around himself as if seeing an old, cozy home for the last time. Well, in a way, it was his cozy home. The grayness. The bright lights. The humming, the whirring and the clanking. The dry air with a faint smell of metal and plastic. The faint voices of the workers, occasional shrieks and laughter - usually from those temporary kids - and the work that never got too boring.
"I won't be coming tomorrow", he said to the foreman casually. The man nodded, turning his head away from a screen. "Taking an extra off?"
The man hesitated before responding to his superior, his eyes wandering the ceiling. "No. I'm quitting tomorrow. Sudden decision, but the contract allowed those. Sorry, boss"
The foreman nodded again. "Remember to return all the tools and keys to me before you leave today, then"
The man nodded and walked out of the room. It was done. He grinned. No big words of farewell, no claims of being missed. And he actually hesitated with this decision.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Repost
To all those that missed the "I called her Death" story which I posted at quarter to midnight on September 30th, here's the repost of the link to it - THE NEW STORY THAT ANG ACTUALLY THINKS WAS MADE PROPER.
After a four-year break...
Angie begins writing poetry again. And this time it even rhymes. Mostly.
The rainy skies are torn apart
By glowing shards of dawn
The shades of night with frown depart
Across the sleepy town.
A weeping morning of the fall
By early rays is met
Its tears dry to raven's call,
A scene for day is set
The breaths of hundreds call
The wind, awakening from their dreams
And morning sun extends its beams
'Cross autumn's yellow hall
The rainy skies are torn apart
By glowing shards of dawn
The shades of night with frown depart
Across the sleepy town.
A weeping morning of the fall
By early rays is met
Its tears dry to raven's call,
A scene for day is set
The breaths of hundreds call
The wind, awakening from their dreams
And morning sun extends its beams
'Cross autumn's yellow hall
Valueable thoughts
With the East's Blues still winning the parliamentary elections at the moment, it's time to turn our noble gazes to some of the more interesting names in Ukraine's political parties.
The BYT - Bloc of Yulia Timoshenko, of course, is an awesome name, not a cult of personality thing at all.
But that's nothing at all compared to the president's coalition. Not only is it stupid in original form - Our Ukraine - People's Self Defence (Seriously, self defence? Against horrible prices on just about anything? Unstable economy? Really, who makes those names up?), it has an addition to it in brackets that steals the crown in the "Stupid name" competition - (NUNS) How cool is this?
Paraphrasing the name of the president's bloc - "Ukrainian NUNS with guns"
*claps*
The BYT - Bloc of Yulia Timoshenko, of course, is an awesome name, not a cult of personality thing at all.
But that's nothing at all compared to the president's coalition. Not only is it stupid in original form - Our Ukraine - People's Self Defence (Seriously, self defence? Against horrible prices on just about anything? Unstable economy? Really, who makes those names up?), it has an addition to it in brackets that steals the crown in the "Stupid name" competition - (NUNS) How cool is this?
Paraphrasing the name of the president's bloc - "Ukrainian NUNS with guns"
*claps*
News from Afghanistan
This year seems to be great for harvesting in those war-torn barren lands! 800 tons of heroin!
Congratulations to all current and future drug addicts.
Congratulations to all current and future drug addicts.
Monday, October 1, 2007
"We don't need no education"
...At least of the sort I saw yesterday. While being on an intercity bus, I had a neighbour, a girl from high school or something of the sort. She was reading a book. A schoolbook. Looked like some sort of religion thing really, put into "objective" terms.
I was taking a peek into the thing, being curious and all - it's interesting to see what the growing generation will be having in their heads. And my, my, my... My curiosity was rewarded.
Morality is an innate and inherent feature of human nature.
I was slightly shocked by this revelation. I mean, yeah, morality is part of human nature. My ass. it has actually been proven that it isn't - morality is an aspect of human social behaviour, and if the human isn't subjected to the society and societal norms until a critical age (7, if I recall correctly), he or she is irreversably lost to the society - and the morality will not develop according to the regular moral code, rather on simple animal instincts of fear, lust, anger and so on. Feral children are a clear illustration of the point.
However, if feral children aren't sufficient, there's another side to the matter - the different perception of morality within different cultures. In some cultures, a certain item is absolutely a taboo, while in another, it's fine and allowed on a daily, if not permanent basis. For instance, certain pagan religions imply animal or human ritual sacrifice. To their moral code, it is an alright thing to do, and the only thing that might make someone against it is fear for their own life - which is an instinct rather than a morally guided decision. Christianity, on the other hand, abhors human sacrifice. Now, we either dehumanize the pagans or the Christians or accept the fact that morality is not a universal concept.
With that said, it should be quite clear that it's not something you are born with, either.
Anyone with a different opinion?
I was taking a peek into the thing, being curious and all - it's interesting to see what the growing generation will be having in their heads. And my, my, my... My curiosity was rewarded.
Morality is an innate and inherent feature of human nature.
I was slightly shocked by this revelation. I mean, yeah, morality is part of human nature. My ass. it has actually been proven that it isn't - morality is an aspect of human social behaviour, and if the human isn't subjected to the society and societal norms until a critical age (7, if I recall correctly), he or she is irreversably lost to the society - and the morality will not develop according to the regular moral code, rather on simple animal instincts of fear, lust, anger and so on. Feral children are a clear illustration of the point.
However, if feral children aren't sufficient, there's another side to the matter - the different perception of morality within different cultures. In some cultures, a certain item is absolutely a taboo, while in another, it's fine and allowed on a daily, if not permanent basis. For instance, certain pagan religions imply animal or human ritual sacrifice. To their moral code, it is an alright thing to do, and the only thing that might make someone against it is fear for their own life - which is an instinct rather than a morally guided decision. Christianity, on the other hand, abhors human sacrifice. Now, we either dehumanize the pagans or the Christians or accept the fact that morality is not a universal concept.
With that said, it should be quite clear that it's not something you are born with, either.
Anyone with a different opinion?
Stuff and things
Well, hmm. Looks like I was majorly unproductive with my writings during the last month, and it's about time to start fixing that. So... First of all, this month, the world will gaze upon more Factory Stories (cue applause) - hopefully more in the shape of my last story's description level than not.
Second, I've decided to, eh, spice up the blog with more articles disclosing my potentially uninteresting but equally potentially offensive opinions! That is, I'm planning to display my cynical observations more often.
And third, I was, hm, persuaded by some people *grumbles* to join FaceBook and MySpace. I still have no idea what I'm supposed to do with all that except put up pretty pictures of myself, but I guess I'll find out soon enough. Profile on my Face is hanging around here, MySpace thing is here. Amusingly enough, the profiles have been up for 24 hours and there's random strangers adding me to their friends already. I'm NOT YOUR FRIEND DAMN IT! *cough*
On yet other news - I have three relatively fresh articles on Pixel - the two on the top actually being decent.
So, welcome to October, everyone.
Second, I've decided to, eh, spice up the blog with more articles disclosing my potentially uninteresting but equally potentially offensive opinions! That is, I'm planning to display my cynical observations more often.
And third, I was, hm, persuaded by some people *grumbles* to join FaceBook and MySpace. I still have no idea what I'm supposed to do with all that except put up pretty pictures of myself, but I guess I'll find out soon enough. Profile on my Face is hanging around here, MySpace thing is here. Amusingly enough, the profiles have been up for 24 hours and there's random strangers adding me to their friends already. I'm NOT YOUR FRIEND DAMN IT! *cough*
On yet other news - I have three relatively fresh articles on Pixel - the two on the top actually being decent.
So, welcome to October, everyone.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Nasal Spray
So, yeah. I'm addicted to nasal spray called Otrivin. Guess I should've seen it coming, "don't stuff it up your nose and squeeze for more than 10 days in a row", indeed. Of course, they don't say why, else I might have actually thought twice about that 11th day.
Thing is, without the bloody thing, I'm more or less unable to breathe. With it, I obviously can - but that's not all, I noticed an interesting, more "complacent" mood shift after taking the medicine. So, today, I decided to break free of its clutches and I'm not taking another drop of it. Even if I won't be able to sleep a few nights.
Of course, it'd be too simple if I just had decided to stop taking the nasal spray shots. Thing is, amusingly enough, I actually had the shakes. As in, withdrawal effects. Nearly half the day I felt like an ADHD patient, not able to focus on anything for more than ten-fifteen minutes. Rather an interesting feeling, to be quite honest, except the ever-growing anxiety really gets to you in the end.
Summary: Don't take nasal sprays for longer than recommended.
Thing is, without the bloody thing, I'm more or less unable to breathe. With it, I obviously can - but that's not all, I noticed an interesting, more "complacent" mood shift after taking the medicine. So, today, I decided to break free of its clutches and I'm not taking another drop of it. Even if I won't be able to sleep a few nights.
Of course, it'd be too simple if I just had decided to stop taking the nasal spray shots. Thing is, amusingly enough, I actually had the shakes. As in, withdrawal effects. Nearly half the day I felt like an ADHD patient, not able to focus on anything for more than ten-fifteen minutes. Rather an interesting feeling, to be quite honest, except the ever-growing anxiety really gets to you in the end.
Summary: Don't take nasal sprays for longer than recommended.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Games that people play
Some news from the WoW direction - an interesting insight on how people's minds seem to sometimes work, and more reasons behind me not liking people all that much. Copied from a conversation with Inny, so bear with the format, please.
Mkay. I'll skip the general part about "poor child" and "poor mother" and so forth. It's all been done before, and while I feel extremely sad for the kids on the account of the shabby parents and a whole bunch of things, like being given out for adoption over a freaking game... But I'd much rather address the parents in this case. Or rather, the fact that this world needs to develop child-making into a licensed practice. Fail the parenthood test? Oops, no baby for you. Why are we getting them driver's licenses for pretty much everything there is that moves with assistance of an engine, pass exams in school and get tested for professional appropriateness when we apply somewhere (hell, 3 years' experience is a must in any decent place nowadays, so maybe 3 years' experience of parenting should be required!) while morons are free to make babies left and right without a single thought in their head? Really, why? And then they claim our society cares for children - well, obviously, as seen from all the recent things going on (13 euro refund to social service for child benefits that a child that just died wasn't any longer eligible for; violent child-abuser mother given custody to her children but fails it by killing them all, brainless, irresponsible, underage people allowed to reproduce freely), it doesn't give a flying... duck.
Comments? Am I being totalitarian again? Repressing people's base freedoms? Being anti-religion?
Oh, and CC, if you read this, post the link to the other WoW thing you just sent me yesterday? Lost the thing in a crash, and illustrates some things quite well, too.
Angthoron:
What sporum now?
Inari:
ER
Inari:
My view on Dragonfury has gone even lower
Angthoron:
What now?
Inari:
He met some chick in WoW, got her pregnant and left them a week after the baby was born
Angthoron:
Just ICly, I hope? <.<
Inari: Nuhuh
Angthoron: Whaaaaaaa?
Inari: Remember Larnia?
Inari: They had a baby
Inari: A real baby
Angthoron: As in, "Waaa, waaa" baby that you get kicking around the mother's stomach for around 9 months, the non-internet baby kind?
Inari: A real, screaming, kicking, pinksinned, pooping baby
Angthoron: And they made it despite the fact that idiots shouldn't procreate and DF was an obvious asshole? Wow.
Inari: Well, it seems people who shouldn't have babies, get them the most Angthoron: Though that seriously is pretty fucked up regardless of the abovementioned
Angthoron: But to be honest, somehow I wasn't really expecting a lot more from DF
Inari: There was one other case on ER a year or so ago, someone had a baby and GAVE IT UP TO SOCIAL SERVICES SO SHE COULD PLAY WOW
Angthoron: ........................................................................
Angthoron: Kidding, right?
Inari: No, the baby was taken away from her because she didn't look after it but spent time on WoW
Mkay. I'll skip the general part about "poor child" and "poor mother" and so forth. It's all been done before, and while I feel extremely sad for the kids on the account of the shabby parents and a whole bunch of things, like being given out for adoption over a freaking game... But I'd much rather address the parents in this case. Or rather, the fact that this world needs to develop child-making into a licensed practice. Fail the parenthood test? Oops, no baby for you. Why are we getting them driver's licenses for pretty much everything there is that moves with assistance of an engine, pass exams in school and get tested for professional appropriateness when we apply somewhere (hell, 3 years' experience is a must in any decent place nowadays, so maybe 3 years' experience of parenting should be required!) while morons are free to make babies left and right without a single thought in their head? Really, why? And then they claim our society cares for children - well, obviously, as seen from all the recent things going on (13 euro refund to social service for child benefits that a child that just died wasn't any longer eligible for; violent child-abuser mother given custody to her children but fails it by killing them all, brainless, irresponsible, underage people allowed to reproduce freely), it doesn't give a flying... duck.
Comments? Am I being totalitarian again? Repressing people's base freedoms? Being anti-religion?
Oh, and CC, if you read this, post the link to the other WoW thing you just sent me yesterday? Lost the thing in a crash, and illustrates some things quite well, too.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Real-life factory stories!
Well, it's just five days left now. Only five, then I finally quit and don't have to see another phone manufactured for - with luck - the rest of my life or, without luck, til next summer.
But bloody hell, these four months have been something else to me. First three were actually mostly alright. I didn't have expectations when I came around, and it was essentially an easy thing to do without having to use the brain at all. Fair deal, ainnit? Well, apparently, not. First, there's the whole issue of brain going stale. For a while, I get to entertain the people around me, but in the months that elapse, things get old, and both myself and the rest are rather tired of it - and it's getting tougher and tougher to make things up. On the other hand, I'm not hired to entertain, I'm hired to do work, and making others happy isn't exactly high on my list of priorities. Unfortunately, making people happy - or, hell, waking any kind of emotions in them makes me last a bit longer, or so it'd seem, so I can't help but go on. And now my head's caught in an infinite loop, I can't make anything new up anymore and am losing my IQ points faster than I ever have. I literally feel going more and more stupid. This, of course, can't help but bring me a feeling of trouble - I am seriously worried about the state of my mind, and mind is one of the things about myself that I am (hopefully) deservedly proud about.
Of course, all the said things contribute to a developing state of depression that many of the readers have suddenly encountered (again), and, being depressed, I tend to revert to thinking of where I went wrong, which usually ends up really deep in the past. Amusing, really. In order not to be depressed now, I would have to go back in time and prevent myself from becoming pretty much everything I am today. To continue being "that Russian guy", as opposed to being "That whoa crazy Russian guy we know and love!"
But then, let's face it. I was tired of being alone. And when I say alone, I really do mean alone, because, while travelling is all good and nice, I lost about 98% of my friends through it - friendships don't blossom when not tended to, and I had no chance to tend to them at all - and made pretty much zero, because there's not really a point in making lasting relationships when you have no idea how long you are going to stay. So, until the times of high school, I literally had one friend hanging about, and that is a tad little, if you ask me.
Plus, I'd have to drop the "invincibility" pretense - which I can't do either, since it's a part of me as well. Why? Well, when you fear a drunk in your own house so much that you basically fear for your life, or life of someone else, up to the point of running to the police in pajamas across a wintery desert scene, later in your life you might not want to feel vulnerable ever again.
And guess what? This doesn't make me pity myself. It makes me mad. Very, very angry, at myself, and at everything around me. Or almost everything. I can't really put it to words. Possibly, my pride forbids me to acknowledge pity - but then again, I can't do anything about it. Pride is probably my biggest sin. Which, I guess, isn't the worst one out there.
There's the sharing, Seagale. Doesn't make me feel any better, yet, anyway. Probably looks whiny and stupid, too, but hey, it's my "blog" and I can look as awful as I want in it.
But bloody hell, these four months have been something else to me. First three were actually mostly alright. I didn't have expectations when I came around, and it was essentially an easy thing to do without having to use the brain at all. Fair deal, ainnit? Well, apparently, not. First, there's the whole issue of brain going stale. For a while, I get to entertain the people around me, but in the months that elapse, things get old, and both myself and the rest are rather tired of it - and it's getting tougher and tougher to make things up. On the other hand, I'm not hired to entertain, I'm hired to do work, and making others happy isn't exactly high on my list of priorities. Unfortunately, making people happy - or, hell, waking any kind of emotions in them makes me last a bit longer, or so it'd seem, so I can't help but go on. And now my head's caught in an infinite loop, I can't make anything new up anymore and am losing my IQ points faster than I ever have. I literally feel going more and more stupid. This, of course, can't help but bring me a feeling of trouble - I am seriously worried about the state of my mind, and mind is one of the things about myself that I am (hopefully) deservedly proud about.
Of course, all the said things contribute to a developing state of depression that many of the readers have suddenly encountered (again), and, being depressed, I tend to revert to thinking of where I went wrong, which usually ends up really deep in the past. Amusing, really. In order not to be depressed now, I would have to go back in time and prevent myself from becoming pretty much everything I am today. To continue being "that Russian guy", as opposed to being "That whoa crazy Russian guy we know and love!"
But then, let's face it. I was tired of being alone. And when I say alone, I really do mean alone, because, while travelling is all good and nice, I lost about 98% of my friends through it - friendships don't blossom when not tended to, and I had no chance to tend to them at all - and made pretty much zero, because there's not really a point in making lasting relationships when you have no idea how long you are going to stay. So, until the times of high school, I literally had one friend hanging about, and that is a tad little, if you ask me.
Plus, I'd have to drop the "invincibility" pretense - which I can't do either, since it's a part of me as well. Why? Well, when you fear a drunk in your own house so much that you basically fear for your life, or life of someone else, up to the point of running to the police in pajamas across a wintery desert scene, later in your life you might not want to feel vulnerable ever again.
And guess what? This doesn't make me pity myself. It makes me mad. Very, very angry, at myself, and at everything around me. Or almost everything. I can't really put it to words. Possibly, my pride forbids me to acknowledge pity - but then again, I can't do anything about it. Pride is probably my biggest sin. Which, I guess, isn't the worst one out there.
There's the sharing, Seagale. Doesn't make me feel any better, yet, anyway. Probably looks whiny and stupid, too, but hey, it's my "blog" and I can look as awful as I want in it.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
3D - Depression, Doom and Dread!
Do you ever get these moments? When you suddenly realize life's slipping away and you can't do anything to stop it? That you're actually helping it slip away? That so far, you've done nothing, and the day is over? Or a week? Or an entire season?
Well, on Saturday morning I realized that the summer is gone. Just gone. Do you know the smell of early autumn? There's still the usual summer smells all around you, but just as a hint of the end, there is a small, tiny, insignificant smell of dampness and decay. It was there already - and I am still working at the factory. Alright, I'm earning decent money, am financially independent of the state or family - something that I am very happy about, as I do dislike being dependent on a whole array of things. But... The whole summer is gone, more or less in a blink of an eye. Makes me feel rather bitter, it does. Or rather, a depressed state is up, which is always a lot of fun in my case, as it's pretty much the opposite of my usual "high" state - we get the dread, the touchiness, the guilt over nothing, the worrying - over nothing as well, and, of course, the all-time favourite, self-loathing! I usually just sleep then, and this is what I've been doing today - sleeping!
Then again, it could possibly mean that I've finally burned the remaining stress hormones and now am getting to the point where the withdrawal phase kicks in.
*goes to brood in the corner*
Oh, and I finished the Electronic Addictions analysis - can be found over here.
Well, on Saturday morning I realized that the summer is gone. Just gone. Do you know the smell of early autumn? There's still the usual summer smells all around you, but just as a hint of the end, there is a small, tiny, insignificant smell of dampness and decay. It was there already - and I am still working at the factory. Alright, I'm earning decent money, am financially independent of the state or family - something that I am very happy about, as I do dislike being dependent on a whole array of things. But... The whole summer is gone, more or less in a blink of an eye. Makes me feel rather bitter, it does. Or rather, a depressed state is up, which is always a lot of fun in my case, as it's pretty much the opposite of my usual "high" state - we get the dread, the touchiness, the guilt over nothing, the worrying - over nothing as well, and, of course, the all-time favourite, self-loathing! I usually just sleep then, and this is what I've been doing today - sleeping!
Then again, it could possibly mean that I've finally burned the remaining stress hormones and now am getting to the point where the withdrawal phase kicks in.
*goes to brood in the corner*
Oh, and I finished the Electronic Addictions analysis - can be found over here.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Rants - Stormy Weather
I love wind. I mean, I really love wind. The feel of it against the face, drowning everything out til it's hard to breathe - mmhmm, just great. I love water. After all, I used to train as a swimmer and was even school's best swimmer - splitting with a good friend of mine, but meh. Always best to say "best", since if you don't compliment yourself, chances are, no-one will. Water's great. Rains, too. And snow, of course - which brings me to another point - I like a decent chill. Of course, being dressed appropriately for it.
Why did I just say all that? Well, mostly because when you combine all those together - sans the snow - you get a situation that's the sum of all with a minus sign in front. A very fat minus. After another lovely night shift, I just ended up in a storm. Very cold and very wet and very windy storm. In just about five minutes, there's not been a single dry thread on me - a wonder the telephone seems to be working alright, looks like it wasn't made by a summer employee. But anyway - it's been rather an interesting walk - twenty minutes in a driving rain. I think that the least thing I will be getting out of it is a flu that I just managed to convince not being the right target for (thank you, sick people at the factory! I always enjoy coughing for several weeks, donations of medicine-resistant strains are especially welcome!).
Furthermore, I am now in possession of a pair of jeans that literally has swamps in its pockets - well, lakes, rather, but regardlessly, the damned thing is now unwearable at least until it dries off, and I think it needs a good wash, as well. And the weather is promised to continue in the same key for several days, oh the joy.
So, to prevent potential disease and for falling asleep easier, I've actually taken a nice shot of gin from my emergency gin & tonic stash. Ew. I really hate hard liquor. Really, really hate it and what it generally makes of people. Long story. I also fail to understand how the hell people actually drink it. It tastes horrible.
*sigh* Ah well, sleep time, I guess.
Why did I just say all that? Well, mostly because when you combine all those together - sans the snow - you get a situation that's the sum of all with a minus sign in front. A very fat minus. After another lovely night shift, I just ended up in a storm. Very cold and very wet and very windy storm. In just about five minutes, there's not been a single dry thread on me - a wonder the telephone seems to be working alright, looks like it wasn't made by a summer employee. But anyway - it's been rather an interesting walk - twenty minutes in a driving rain. I think that the least thing I will be getting out of it is a flu that I just managed to convince not being the right target for (thank you, sick people at the factory! I always enjoy coughing for several weeks, donations of medicine-resistant strains are especially welcome!).
Furthermore, I am now in possession of a pair of jeans that literally has swamps in its pockets - well, lakes, rather, but regardlessly, the damned thing is now unwearable at least until it dries off, and I think it needs a good wash, as well. And the weather is promised to continue in the same key for several days, oh the joy.
So, to prevent potential disease and for falling asleep easier, I've actually taken a nice shot of gin from my emergency gin & tonic stash. Ew. I really hate hard liquor. Really, really hate it and what it generally makes of people. Long story. I also fail to understand how the hell people actually drink it. It tastes horrible.
*sigh* Ah well, sleep time, I guess.
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