With much thanks to Lydia's classes, I'm now more or less aware of points of interest in children's literature. Which occasionally makes me interested enough to look into a bunch of such books to see the general tendencies and waste time I'd have used productively otherwise.
Well, then, today, I stumbled across a site that offered several scans and commentaries to the scanned masterpieces. Masterpieces like Pernilla Stalfelt's books - those that are about racial differences (and how they're good, mind you), death and shitting. Seriously. What the hell? Unfortunately that last one isn't included in the scans yet, so I had to make do with the other two, and their kindred-spirited "Where do babies come from" types of children's books. The sort that are rather loved by the critics.
My conclusion is rather simple - I should either never have children, never read them any children's books, or write my own stuff and force someone that can draw to make picture thingies into them.
Also, what the hell? A photo of a naked kid will brandish someone as a paedophile, but drawing tons of naked children in children's books is fine? Go figure, I'd have thought those two would be equal.
Update: Would any of you pick up a book called "How the king became a girl" to read to your wee lil' offspring?
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Clarifying
To the previous post.
No, I'd not like to necessarily live in a totalitarian state, unless it actually had a well-set-up government which would actually try to serve the people rather than just be concerned with preserving status quo (but where do you find that?). The point of the mini-article isn't about that.
Point is, when trying to make a society heterogeneous, it actually becomes homogeneous instead, and vice versa. However, I have my severe doubts about anyone wanting to create a "diverse, liberal" society, so the results are actually expectable and predictable - a nice uniform society with nice, uniform mindsets.
No, I'd not like to necessarily live in a totalitarian state, unless it actually had a well-set-up government which would actually try to serve the people rather than just be concerned with preserving status quo (but where do you find that?). The point of the mini-article isn't about that.
Point is, when trying to make a society heterogeneous, it actually becomes homogeneous instead, and vice versa. However, I have my severe doubts about anyone wanting to create a "diverse, liberal" society, so the results are actually expectable and predictable - a nice uniform society with nice, uniform mindsets.
Night thoughts
Focus on a collective, mutual existance creates bright individualities; focus on individuality creates the opposite.
Of course, one is free to offer a counter-statement, saying that in a collective which tries to bring up "averageness", a bright personality is noticeable far easier than in a society that tries to make each personality be bright. However, when viewing these supposedly colourful personalities, one may notice that they, in fact, are merely groups of people presuming to be unique - which, as one may, then, guess, is rather incorrect.
In fact, personalities seem to shrink because of the multitude of apparent choices and freedoms - one is free to choose a path - however, each path is in a sense predetermined, and one doesn't really need to think or fight to preserve one's viewpoints. On the other hand, in an atmosphere of a personality suppression and lack of "alternatives", one has to make up their own way instead of just picking up something that is a trend.
Ironic.
Of course, one is free to offer a counter-statement, saying that in a collective which tries to bring up "averageness", a bright personality is noticeable far easier than in a society that tries to make each personality be bright. However, when viewing these supposedly colourful personalities, one may notice that they, in fact, are merely groups of people presuming to be unique - which, as one may, then, guess, is rather incorrect.
In fact, personalities seem to shrink because of the multitude of apparent choices and freedoms - one is free to choose a path - however, each path is in a sense predetermined, and one doesn't really need to think or fight to preserve one's viewpoints. On the other hand, in an atmosphere of a personality suppression and lack of "alternatives", one has to make up their own way instead of just picking up something that is a trend.
Ironic.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Ang vs Darknest, now with pictures
About a year ago, while still playing WoW, I had a wonderful encounter with a bit of internet subculture - a group called "Darknest", people that play out erotic fantasies through the medium of computer games, massive multiplayer ones in particular.
The acquaintance started when, all of a sudden, the SWG chat channel started giving recurring complaints about a few people, who kept on pretending to be - or trying to be - roleplaying a rapist. For a bit, I figured that it's not my business, and that the SWG, that is, Stormwind Guards could actually get off their butts and do it themselves, but as the situation persisted, I soon went ahead and told the fellow what I thought about his little show. (click on the pictures for seeing the text in a readable size)
At this point, in order not to get more angry (and I'm actually very angry in the course of the conversation here - if I first seem angry and then start talking in a sweet, polite voice, here's a word of advice - run), I placed the ignorant foo on ignore and started writing a report on him - meanwhile he found out who I was and started to message-bomb the SWG members to tell me that he wants to talk. So, talk we did, and my, the fellow actually changes tone, how sweet.
Unfortunately, I seem to not have taken a screenie of him promising to never do it again. What a shame. At any rate, after realizing that his "threats" wouldn't quite achieve anything, the guy became very complacent, apologized and gave heartfelt promises of never, ever again doing his crap. And, to his credit, I never heard the Guard complain again.
Ah, the good times.
The acquaintance started when, all of a sudden, the SWG chat channel started giving recurring complaints about a few people, who kept on pretending to be - or trying to be - roleplaying a rapist. For a bit, I figured that it's not my business, and that the SWG, that is, Stormwind Guards could actually get off their butts and do it themselves, but as the situation persisted, I soon went ahead and told the fellow what I thought about his little show. (click on the pictures for seeing the text in a readable size)
At this point, in order not to get more angry (and I'm actually very angry in the course of the conversation here - if I first seem angry and then start talking in a sweet, polite voice, here's a word of advice - run), I placed the ignorant foo on ignore and started writing a report on him - meanwhile he found out who I was and started to message-bomb the SWG members to tell me that he wants to talk. So, talk we did, and my, the fellow actually changes tone, how sweet.
Unfortunately, I seem to not have taken a screenie of him promising to never do it again. What a shame. At any rate, after realizing that his "threats" wouldn't quite achieve anything, the guy became very complacent, apologized and gave heartfelt promises of never, ever again doing his crap. And, to his credit, I never heard the Guard complain again.
Ah, the good times.
A break
Last two days had been spent at a spa hotel. That was rather nice and needed, got most of the stress out during the stay there. As a part of my "when I get rich and famous", I'll definitely be spending a month per year in some sort of similar-spirited hotels. No need to rush, worry, or, well, do anything really. Just be lazy and relax. How awesome is that?
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Quotes!
As an undying testament to people's great wit, I went through some of the chat logs I've taken from the more special moments in LotRO. Some of it makes for wonderful laughing material. Clicky to read!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Communities, pt2
So how does one create a somewhat mature working online community? Is there an actual recipe for such a thing? And how does one create such a community in the fine example of Laurelin, that of Lord of the Rings Online server? Well...
First of all, one has to realize that first several months will not be milk and honey. First several months will go into simply rallying people and giving kicks left and right, roaring and cursing. Well, that's not how it goes, but being prepared for the worst generally helps deal with various irritants, and being prepared to become known as a person that WILL react helps make people think twice.
After this awesome realization, it's time to decide on a goal. Let's say the goal would be something along the lines of a small adventurer alliance that is meant to add "realism", choices and consequences and give new RP opportunities. Yay, we have a goal now! Now what?
Now we decide on who we want to be in the group. Shiny nifty people? Shady naughty people? Both? If we want both, then how do we have them both in the thing without breaking people's preferences?
Amrite. That's decided on. What next? Well, next, obviously, we contact these people, tell them about our awesome idea and see what they think about it. If they agree to it being awesome, we ask them to join. Rinse and repeat until desired community size is formed, and prepare for at least 10% of the society of never taking part, and another 10% pulling out, the first ones despite and the second because of your deafening roars.
Next part involves in small community-building events where people get together and get to know each others, establish the "base of operations" and generally interact. At this stage, having a forum and an internal chat channel becomes important. Well, it becomes important at the previous stage still, actually, but now it *has* to be around. And it's time to fully establish community's guidelines and rules. There have to be some definite rules that, upon breaking, the member gets kicked out and possibly anathemated (but more of this later)
Anyhow, that's with the community building. The easy part. The second part is community maintenance, the very hard, very taxing, very irritating business, in the process of which you will hurt random people, people you hate and friends an enormous amount of times in order for one simple thing to make its way through everyone's head - the rules apply to everyone without exception. Only then will they actually work.
Community maintenance is mainly a moderator job, really. In every aspect of a moderator's possible duty. Including kicking people out, banning and - yes! - blacklisting. But Angie, you might say, that is not very liberal! We have no right to blacklist people, do we?
Of course we do. We're a group with set standards, one that offers a lot to the members, but will also require a lot in return. One of such things is being ready to be blacklisted in case you royally mess up. It's simply a matter of who to play with in the sandbox, and some kids out there, we rather not have with us.
Of course, that's still presuming equality and liberalism, which, to be truthful, work online even less than they do in the outside world. Face it. There's no equality. Anyone to have been to school should know this by now. There are smart kids whom people acknowledge and love, there are smart kids that stick to the shades and, when trying to raise the voice on an important issue, are simply ignored, there are dumb but lovable kids, there are bullies, there are the beauty queens and kings, there are leaders and there are people that don't give a damn. They're only equal if you look at them from a master's perspective - yeah, they're all equal to do my bidding. Otherwise, ha! As for liberalism, liberalism is meant to also have the people shoulder their responsibilities - and in the online world, what sort of responsibilities do you really have that can misfire and hit you in the face? Please.
There's no equality, there is no liberalism, there is no wonderful land of flower-sniffing elves. I'd absolutely bloody love it if there was such a thing. I'd totally bloody adore it. But it's not there, and if I can carry my responsibilities and in turn, be a free man through it, it doesn't mean others can. When everyone will be able to follow their responsibilities and not just enjoy their freedoms, then we'll have democracy. Not before that point.
Oh, and carebear societies do not survive in MMOs.
First of all, one has to realize that first several months will not be milk and honey. First several months will go into simply rallying people and giving kicks left and right, roaring and cursing. Well, that's not how it goes, but being prepared for the worst generally helps deal with various irritants, and being prepared to become known as a person that WILL react helps make people think twice.
After this awesome realization, it's time to decide on a goal. Let's say the goal would be something along the lines of a small adventurer alliance that is meant to add "realism", choices and consequences and give new RP opportunities. Yay, we have a goal now! Now what?
Now we decide on who we want to be in the group. Shiny nifty people? Shady naughty people? Both? If we want both, then how do we have them both in the thing without breaking people's preferences?
Amrite. That's decided on. What next? Well, next, obviously, we contact these people, tell them about our awesome idea and see what they think about it. If they agree to it being awesome, we ask them to join. Rinse and repeat until desired community size is formed, and prepare for at least 10% of the society of never taking part, and another 10% pulling out, the first ones despite and the second because of your deafening roars.
Next part involves in small community-building events where people get together and get to know each others, establish the "base of operations" and generally interact. At this stage, having a forum and an internal chat channel becomes important. Well, it becomes important at the previous stage still, actually, but now it *has* to be around. And it's time to fully establish community's guidelines and rules. There have to be some definite rules that, upon breaking, the member gets kicked out and possibly anathemated (but more of this later)
Anyhow, that's with the community building. The easy part. The second part is community maintenance, the very hard, very taxing, very irritating business, in the process of which you will hurt random people, people you hate and friends an enormous amount of times in order for one simple thing to make its way through everyone's head - the rules apply to everyone without exception. Only then will they actually work.
Community maintenance is mainly a moderator job, really. In every aspect of a moderator's possible duty. Including kicking people out, banning and - yes! - blacklisting. But Angie, you might say, that is not very liberal! We have no right to blacklist people, do we?
Of course we do. We're a group with set standards, one that offers a lot to the members, but will also require a lot in return. One of such things is being ready to be blacklisted in case you royally mess up. It's simply a matter of who to play with in the sandbox, and some kids out there, we rather not have with us.
Of course, that's still presuming equality and liberalism, which, to be truthful, work online even less than they do in the outside world. Face it. There's no equality. Anyone to have been to school should know this by now. There are smart kids whom people acknowledge and love, there are smart kids that stick to the shades and, when trying to raise the voice on an important issue, are simply ignored, there are dumb but lovable kids, there are bullies, there are the beauty queens and kings, there are leaders and there are people that don't give a damn. They're only equal if you look at them from a master's perspective - yeah, they're all equal to do my bidding. Otherwise, ha! As for liberalism, liberalism is meant to also have the people shoulder their responsibilities - and in the online world, what sort of responsibilities do you really have that can misfire and hit you in the face? Please.
There's no equality, there is no liberalism, there is no wonderful land of flower-sniffing elves. I'd absolutely bloody love it if there was such a thing. I'd totally bloody adore it. But it's not there, and if I can carry my responsibilities and in turn, be a free man through it, it doesn't mean others can. When everyone will be able to follow their responsibilities and not just enjoy their freedoms, then we'll have democracy. Not before that point.
Oh, and carebear societies do not survive in MMOs.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Internet Communities
Internet communities are a rather curious thing. How do they actually form? How do people group around a forum, or a chat site, or around an online game, spending hours together and forgetting to take out decomposing rubbish for weeks? It's a mystery to many, it would seem, as my recent encounter with Lord of the Ring Online's forum posters has shown. I thought to be irritated at first, but I've thought better and am actually amused now.
Why be amused? Well... The people there think that building a community happens with a snap of a finger. You say, "We're making a community now!" and voila - a community forms. Then you can add some purpose to it, and you're all set, wonderful, isn't it?
Well, surprise, surprise, it doesn't work like that at all. To exist, a community needs a purpose. A goal. The only "artificially" generated community that I saw created and surviving was Ironforge RP Initiative - and it's only because the people behind it were willing to go the length of their plan. The rest of the attempts miserably failed - or generated a disgusting heap of attention-whoring elitists, which is even worse. And now, suddenly, in reply to my examples, I hear that this happened in another MMO, at a different time, with other people. And that there's no reason to think it will happen here. Pshaw.
Do people really think that the core of human mentality has changed a single bit since the time when a monkey took a stick and whapped another monkey on the head? Or, if you're not into Darwin's approach, since Adam munched on the apple? We're still the same petty little things, with the same petty little concerns - only things that have changed are social environment and technology. In real life, that is. In the Internet, a human's true nature reigns. You can pretend to be a shining knight or a brave scout, or a teenage girl, or a successful businessman, but your face will come through. You are not facing any immediate physical (by physical I mean anything that can happen to the body, from a kick in the face to a court order of some fashion) retribution - and it unties your hands. Very few people really manage to shine in such an environment. And when someone tells you that a year ago people were different - while that person at the same time proposes morose ideas and can't arse spelling or punctuating properly, what can you say in reply?
I laughed and clapped.
Maybe I'm too cynical. Maybe. But I've learned all the ropes of online community managing the hard way. I've seen betrayals and backstabs, failures and bloating, disgusting patting of the ego of "heroes" and "leaders" at others' expense. Maybe, just maybe I'm jealous. Jealous of other people's innocence and ignorance in such matters. Maybe I'd like to be a foolish idealist still. But I'm not. And my opinions will be disliked and disregarded - because, of course, five years of direct experience of leading online communities doesn't mean a thing when an 18-year-old gets a wonderful idea.
As Elenyavie/Jools pointed out, these same ideas have been recycled time and time again since 1996 - for over ten years now. Why? Well. Do you see old comm. leaders hanging around? No, most have their closed circles of chosen. Or work. Or families. They're no longer bothered to explain something to a crowd. If the community becomes corrupt and un-enjoyable, they simply pack bags and move on. And so, the newer members have to think up things for themselves and think that they're fresh and wonderful. Nothing changes.
Why be amused? Well... The people there think that building a community happens with a snap of a finger. You say, "We're making a community now!" and voila - a community forms. Then you can add some purpose to it, and you're all set, wonderful, isn't it?
Well, surprise, surprise, it doesn't work like that at all. To exist, a community needs a purpose. A goal. The only "artificially" generated community that I saw created and surviving was Ironforge RP Initiative - and it's only because the people behind it were willing to go the length of their plan. The rest of the attempts miserably failed - or generated a disgusting heap of attention-whoring elitists, which is even worse. And now, suddenly, in reply to my examples, I hear that this happened in another MMO, at a different time, with other people. And that there's no reason to think it will happen here. Pshaw.
Do people really think that the core of human mentality has changed a single bit since the time when a monkey took a stick and whapped another monkey on the head? Or, if you're not into Darwin's approach, since Adam munched on the apple? We're still the same petty little things, with the same petty little concerns - only things that have changed are social environment and technology. In real life, that is. In the Internet, a human's true nature reigns. You can pretend to be a shining knight or a brave scout, or a teenage girl, or a successful businessman, but your face will come through. You are not facing any immediate physical (by physical I mean anything that can happen to the body, from a kick in the face to a court order of some fashion) retribution - and it unties your hands. Very few people really manage to shine in such an environment. And when someone tells you that a year ago people were different - while that person at the same time proposes morose ideas and can't arse spelling or punctuating properly, what can you say in reply?
I laughed and clapped.
Maybe I'm too cynical. Maybe. But I've learned all the ropes of online community managing the hard way. I've seen betrayals and backstabs, failures and bloating, disgusting patting of the ego of "heroes" and "leaders" at others' expense. Maybe, just maybe I'm jealous. Jealous of other people's innocence and ignorance in such matters. Maybe I'd like to be a foolish idealist still. But I'm not. And my opinions will be disliked and disregarded - because, of course, five years of direct experience of leading online communities doesn't mean a thing when an 18-year-old gets a wonderful idea.
As Elenyavie/Jools pointed out, these same ideas have been recycled time and time again since 1996 - for over ten years now. Why? Well. Do you see old comm. leaders hanging around? No, most have their closed circles of chosen. Or work. Or families. They're no longer bothered to explain something to a crowd. If the community becomes corrupt and un-enjoyable, they simply pack bags and move on. And so, the newer members have to think up things for themselves and think that they're fresh and wonderful. Nothing changes.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Books
Recently, I received a few books as presents. I'm still keeping from reading Stardust and Wizard's First Rule, since I started something else before them, though, but... The other book I received was a collection of short stories by award-winning Russian authors of recent years. After reading them, I started reading a biographic novel about child criminal upbringing in the 1920ies, written by the man that was running the "colony". Published in 1957. Reading of these two compels me to write a bit of a rant.
First of all... There seem to be no writers left in Russia. The short stories are written nicely, there's some originality of style and a few interesting solutions in terms of stream of conscience-type of writing. However, they're all not even new - I've read stream of conscience stories on my first year of university as an intro course. But that's not the problem. Problem is, they're stories about nothing. N-o-t-h-i-n-g. There's no actual point to them. Things just go and happen. Poof. Lovely. Just a show-off of how someone can "awesomely write". Only a couple of stories actually were of some kind of point and were relatively interesting to read, the rest was a chore and a bother. That is, until I got to the last author. This is where I went "WTF?" and kept on reading only to see if the rest of the texts would be the same. They were.
You see, apparently, what the humans, according to the Author are, are engaging in either acts or talks of acts of Author's inflamed sexual fantasies. Disgusting crap. But even more disgusting was his last short story with some sort of moralizing in it. Ugh.
Now, the correctional facility biography book is actually awesome. Communist approach to their plan of creating a new human through new means. No, it has no violence, soap-dropping scenes or anything else. It's a book about an approach taken to change young street criminals to the kind of people that fit into a society. And it's done successfully.
First of all... There seem to be no writers left in Russia. The short stories are written nicely, there's some originality of style and a few interesting solutions in terms of stream of conscience-type of writing. However, they're all not even new - I've read stream of conscience stories on my first year of university as an intro course. But that's not the problem. Problem is, they're stories about nothing. N-o-t-h-i-n-g. There's no actual point to them. Things just go and happen. Poof. Lovely. Just a show-off of how someone can "awesomely write". Only a couple of stories actually were of some kind of point and were relatively interesting to read, the rest was a chore and a bother. That is, until I got to the last author. This is where I went "WTF?" and kept on reading only to see if the rest of the texts would be the same. They were.
You see, apparently, what the humans, according to the Author are, are engaging in either acts or talks of acts of Author's inflamed sexual fantasies. Disgusting crap. But even more disgusting was his last short story with some sort of moralizing in it. Ugh.
Now, the correctional facility biography book is actually awesome. Communist approach to their plan of creating a new human through new means. No, it has no violence, soap-dropping scenes or anything else. It's a book about an approach taken to change young street criminals to the kind of people that fit into a society. And it's done successfully.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
The Witcher revisited
I'm in shock and under the table right now. Why? Well... Mainly because AG's "Game of the Year" voting is closed and the results have finally been announced. Editorial staff announced Witcher 3rd best game of the year - not a surprise there, with Bioshock being the number 1 (no surprise there either). That part has been predictable.
The "shock" bit comes from the fact that the readers voted Witcher to be the game of the year.
The "shock" bit comes from the fact that the readers voted Witcher to be the game of the year.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Say it in Engrish!
Had some good laughs in the class today, lecturer brought a book of samples of bad English. Hilarious stuff. Made me recall the loads of similar content on Engrish.com, a site that displays hundreds of photoes of real - yet horribly made signs, instructions and other such things.
Broken English spoken perfectly, indeed.
Broken English spoken perfectly, indeed.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Sarcastic plot summaries?
Decided to try and make some of sarcastic plot summaries with Elenyavie today. Some of the results can be found here - http://potplots.wordpress.com/
In other news, I definitely have fever and all the nice side-effects of it - headache, muscle stiffness, brains slowed down, hunger and simultaneous revulsion towards food. And an almost unstoppable feeling of utter discomfort. *sigh* Ah well, at least I held it off for a while.
In other news, I definitely have fever and all the nice side-effects of it - headache, muscle stiffness, brains slowed down, hunger and simultaneous revulsion towards food. And an almost unstoppable feeling of utter discomfort. *sigh* Ah well, at least I held it off for a while.
Friday, February 15, 2008
When the lights go out...
An interesting point I seem to be encountering more and more often on the Internets - especially the Russian side of it - that people should be preparing for some Huge Crap. Not that many can verbalize the actual source of the threat of it, but the opinion generally seems to be that the cities are doomed, and that the civilization will soon end up without electricity. It can be rubbish, or it can be real. It could be a mass paranoia ring that feeds itself by finding circumstantial evidence and cooking up conspiracy theories. But it could also be real. Question is...
What do you do when the lights go out? Can you survive with no lights? No heating? No gasoline? With hungry crowds marauding the houses in search of food and supplies? An interesting thought indeed.
*shrug* Regardlessly, I treat this more as a paranoia result at this stage. Thanks to the Internet, one can easily find like-minded group of panicking folk, and a panicking crowd tends to make more noise than normal people normally do. However, it doesn't mean that people shouldn't actually try and train up some sort of survivalist skills, for whatever reason, they may one day be needed.
What do you do when the lights go out? Can you survive with no lights? No heating? No gasoline? With hungry crowds marauding the houses in search of food and supplies? An interesting thought indeed.
*shrug* Regardlessly, I treat this more as a paranoia result at this stage. Thanks to the Internet, one can easily find like-minded group of panicking folk, and a panicking crowd tends to make more noise than normal people normally do. However, it doesn't mean that people shouldn't actually try and train up some sort of survivalist skills, for whatever reason, they may one day be needed.
Writer's Bloc(k)
Writer's block, I has it!
Rather irritating to have a lot of ideas and be unable to put them into writing in the way I want to.
Like what? Like a part of Andira's forgotten mythology - the "creation" of the Elves - and the cataclysm that is behind it. I have the idea so clear in my mind, but when I write it down, it's just a mess of words that are unfitting for the damn thing. Urgh. Maybe I should resort to writing fan fiction with shameless song lyrics insertions.
Rather irritating to have a lot of ideas and be unable to put them into writing in the way I want to.
Like what? Like a part of Andira's forgotten mythology - the "creation" of the Elves - and the cataclysm that is behind it. I have the idea so clear in my mind, but when I write it down, it's just a mess of words that are unfitting for the damn thing. Urgh. Maybe I should resort to writing fan fiction with shameless song lyrics insertions.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Stuck!
While the rest of my "travel diary" will be published later, at the moment I'm pleased to inform that I'm
A) Visiting father
B) Immensely pissed off
C) Only able to get out of here tomorrow, since the today train is out of room. Place I'll be hanging around in it tomorrow isn't great either, but it's better than staying here 'til the tenth.
In general, the trip wasn't at all bad - that is, until yesterday, when my visit here started. Well, rather, it got ruined an evening prior, when I decided to make sure people are prepared and discovering dear father to be in a less than communicable state. Which he's been in for most of my visit now. And I'm pretty sure that I'm furious. I can accept, forgive and understand a lot, but there's a line that's been crossed and dozens of warnings and promises that were ignored and apparently forgotten. He's made his choice, I've made mine. And even though leaving just like that is pretty cruel to both him and his-side grandmother, I don't think I have much choice. Outcomes to both staying and leaving will be catastrophic, but if he can't change himself, and if his mother is shouting at him and all that kind of joyful things go on around me, I don't think there's much point of staying. Ah well. There's some things to be done before I leave, like isolating the windows which let in lots of cold air and figure out a convenient lie to tell to the other grandparents not to have them shocked or anything.
Yay?
A) Visiting father
B) Immensely pissed off
C) Only able to get out of here tomorrow, since the today train is out of room. Place I'll be hanging around in it tomorrow isn't great either, but it's better than staying here 'til the tenth.
In general, the trip wasn't at all bad - that is, until yesterday, when my visit here started. Well, rather, it got ruined an evening prior, when I decided to make sure people are prepared and discovering dear father to be in a less than communicable state. Which he's been in for most of my visit now. And I'm pretty sure that I'm furious. I can accept, forgive and understand a lot, but there's a line that's been crossed and dozens of warnings and promises that were ignored and apparently forgotten. He's made his choice, I've made mine. And even though leaving just like that is pretty cruel to both him and his-side grandmother, I don't think I have much choice. Outcomes to both staying and leaving will be catastrophic, but if he can't change himself, and if his mother is shouting at him and all that kind of joyful things go on around me, I don't think there's much point of staying. Ah well. There's some things to be done before I leave, like isolating the windows which let in lots of cold air and figure out a convenient lie to tell to the other grandparents not to have them shocked or anything.
Yay?
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Nationalism in action
Well guess what? Apparently, according to the well-founded opinion of Ukrainian (neo)nationalists and Aryan (really, yeah, not kidding) movements, Jesus was a Ukrainian, in fact, he was a primarch of the Proto-Aryan race! I guess that solves the problem of Aryans being Christians, no way they'd possibly worship a member of a lesser race, but a Ukrainian? Totally different.
While still on the subject of religions, beliefs and other wonderful things, I can't possibly not mention a text I saw a few days ago, something about our universe actually being a hologram or something or other. Couldn't really read it to the end due to lack of interest in the subject. However, a friend of mine is fascinated with the idea for some reason.
Question is, why be fascinated with it? Does living in a hologram mean that you can break out of it? Essentially, no. You're a hologram, too, and stepping out of the general area of projection you cease to exist. Besides, how do you break out of a hologram? By eating some red pills? Well, this isn't The Matrix, and you, dear readers, are not Neo. Neither am I, quite unfortunately, dodging bullets and being Teh 1 would have been rather nifty. Not to mention I could bend spoons and chastity belts... but I digress. What's the big deal with it? Does it cancel the laws of morality, if we realize that nothing really exist? Well, I dare you to try and see just what the other holograms can do to you for it. So what's so great about it? Even if this is a hologram, you're still stuck as a part of it.
Same really goes for the religions. There's a God? Heaven, Hell, all that? Great. I can reincarnate as a buffalo? Awesome. But what then? Right now I happen to be a human, and am stuck as one for the rest of my life - and suicide is a no-no according to pretty much all religions, no heaven, no reincarnation, just poof or purgatory. And being a human, I'm stuck to sticking to human laws, morality, customs and all that other great stuff that we humans are making such a big fuss about. A large deviation to any direction would end up as negative to the deviant in the first place, just like it would in case if the world was a hologram, my left toe or a tomato in drag.
While still on the subject of religions, beliefs and other wonderful things, I can't possibly not mention a text I saw a few days ago, something about our universe actually being a hologram or something or other. Couldn't really read it to the end due to lack of interest in the subject. However, a friend of mine is fascinated with the idea for some reason.
Question is, why be fascinated with it? Does living in a hologram mean that you can break out of it? Essentially, no. You're a hologram, too, and stepping out of the general area of projection you cease to exist. Besides, how do you break out of a hologram? By eating some red pills? Well, this isn't The Matrix, and you, dear readers, are not Neo. Neither am I, quite unfortunately, dodging bullets and being Teh 1 would have been rather nifty. Not to mention I could bend spoons and chastity belts... but I digress. What's the big deal with it? Does it cancel the laws of morality, if we realize that nothing really exist? Well, I dare you to try and see just what the other holograms can do to you for it. So what's so great about it? Even if this is a hologram, you're still stuck as a part of it.
Same really goes for the religions. There's a God? Heaven, Hell, all that? Great. I can reincarnate as a buffalo? Awesome. But what then? Right now I happen to be a human, and am stuck as one for the rest of my life - and suicide is a no-no according to pretty much all religions, no heaven, no reincarnation, just poof or purgatory. And being a human, I'm stuck to sticking to human laws, morality, customs and all that other great stuff that we humans are making such a big fuss about. A large deviation to any direction would end up as negative to the deviant in the first place, just like it would in case if the world was a hologram, my left toe or a tomato in drag.
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