Status update

Welp, it looks like I haven't written here for a while. It's been a turbulent couple of years, I guess. Significant changes since the last time:
- Single
- Diploma complete/awaiting final approval: Clichés in Genre Fantasy Literature
- Mock-up application to Larian Studios as a Writer/Designer trampled over by mandatory military service

I think I'll pause at that last bit for a while, or rather, pause at the last bit of the last bit. Yep - I've been drafted. In fact, in less than two months, I'll be un-drafted again and become a worthless civilian. What do I think of my time in the service? Let's see. I'll make a military-fashion list of items. Some might get wordy.

- Military satire by competent writers is correct. Hashek, Heller, Harrison, they all wrote about different periods of the 20th century, but damn if they aren't right. Sure, it's all hyperboles, but the amount of ridiculous, hilarious and pointless is indeed off the scale.

- People that claim that "military service clears your mind" clearly didn't need any clearing at all and probably lack a mind to begin with.

- Military is, in fact, an extended kindergarten that grows boys from the emotional age of six to the emotional age of eleven. Considering it takes them up to just about a year, that's quite an accomplishment.

- Sadly, this means the visit has been largely pointless for me. I'm already aged thirteen in the head.

- If I don't get Corporal by the end of my service, the only tangible thing I'll be carrying out with me will be a mild case of ulcer and a 1-liter flask that the storehouse doesn't want back. Amusing, considering they're fine with taking back the underpants.

- I'm apparently awesome as a scribe. Who'd have thunk it. This means I get to feel depressed about shoveling shitty jobs around to people that clearly deserve better. Oh, and putting on "shore leave" clothes 1 minute before the crew marches off for the bus because my royal presence is required at the office.

- Apparently speaking English ramps up my authority levels to appropriate levels. I guess not having to mumble while trying to figure out what the hell's supposed to come at the end of the words helps a lot. Shame I can't speak it all the time. That'd make my officers swoon, or, alternatively, be jealous.

- "Meet new friends" thing really works better if you're actually of the target demographic age. Then again, I'm being emotionally stumped and fairly uncaring about that bit anyway. Some nice people have been met, however. Perhaps they'll even be sad some fifty years later when my obituary shows up in the papers while they're still 70-years-young. For a moment, before dementia kicks in again.

- Still possible to meet amazing people in the army, even with my mild case of not giving a damn about anything. Never expected something like that from this place, though. Not now, not before, it's really a bit of a shock.

- As a hotel and restaurant chain, this place barely deserves one star.


This concludes my assorted thoughts on military service and the related experiences.

On a different topic, I need some topic/genre for a short story practice, ideas? No military satire please.