Sunday, August 5, 2007

3D - Depression, Doom and Dread!

Do you ever get these moments? When you suddenly realize life's slipping away and you can't do anything to stop it? That you're actually helping it slip away? That so far, you've done nothing, and the day is over? Or a week? Or an entire season?

Well, on Saturday morning I realized that the summer is gone. Just gone. Do you know the smell of early autumn? There's still the usual summer smells all around you, but just as a hint of the end, there is a small, tiny, insignificant smell of dampness and decay. It was there already - and I am still working at the factory. Alright, I'm earning decent money, am financially independent of the state or family - something that I am very happy about, as I do dislike being dependent on a whole array of things. But... The whole summer is gone, more or less in a blink of an eye. Makes me feel rather bitter, it does. Or rather, a depressed state is up, which is always a lot of fun in my case, as it's pretty much the opposite of my usual "high" state - we get the dread, the touchiness, the guilt over nothing, the worrying - over nothing as well, and, of course, the all-time favourite, self-loathing! I usually just sleep then, and this is what I've been doing today - sleeping!

Then again, it could possibly mean that I've finally burned the remaining stress hormones and now am getting to the point where the withdrawal phase kicks in.

*goes to brood in the corner*


Oh, and I finished the Electronic Addictions analysis - can be found over here.

5 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. The realization that a whole season has just disappeared out from under your feet can be quite depressing.

    And sadly, as you grow older time only seems to go by faster. I guess that's why it's important to look at each day as a gift. A chance to make the most of your time, every minute, every second.

    It's not easy to realize it sometimes, but every day has something positive to offer.

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  2. Now now, Summer has just started!
    My holiday has just started and I only have three weeks.
    And yes, time will go faster when you get older. You just have to make best with every day you got.

    The only depressing thing for me is the fact that I spend more time with my co-workers than with my friends and family. damn work ....

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  3. I take great solace in the fact that this will apparently get over the year... *coughs*

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  4. Get worse over the years* even. Half-asleep = bad for writing

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  5. Or you can think of it this way... the bad days don't last as long.

    :D

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